Bobbi Wall in my bedroom, Pittsburgh, 2010
The season seems to be on the verge of changing here in Pittsburgh, and I think the above-freezing temperatures and return of the sun will help to improve moods. Here are some things you can do to make the countdown to spring – or anytime of the year – more bearable.
1. Write yourself love notes
I’ve filled up pages of notes to myself, from “Drink more water,” to “You can do it,” and ”You CAN be successful.”
I think the process of writing things and seeing them right in front of your face all day is a great reminder that you can do anything you want to do.
2. Make yourself amazing mixes
Music moves me. I always have a rotating mix of “new songs,” which are not even necessarily current songs, but tunes that are new to me. I love post-punk and new wave, and I often create mixes of these genres for listening to while driving in the car or exercising
3. Buy yourself something nice
I enjoy treating myself once a week to something special, my latest purchase being this pair of pretty floral tights. I wear a lot of black, so this small pop of color made everyone in the office take notice and tell me how nice I looked. Beauty treats help, too. Every five weeks I get a cut and color from Beth at Evolve, and I always leave feeling pretty and refreshed. Eyebrow waxes and facials from bloom organic skincare parlor also make me feel more relaxed and my skin look great.
4. Exercise
Every time I feel bad about myself, the first thing Richard Wayne will always ask me is, “Are you exercising?” Lately, I’ve been trying to incorporate yoga and spinning into my life, which does help a lot with my self-depreciation woes. I also try to incorporate as much walking, taking the stairs, and dancing into my life as I can.
5. Write friends real letters
I have two pen pals: LA photographer Chloe Aftel, and one of my dear friends from college, Seattle based graphic designer, Erica Wong. Every time I get one of their hand written letters, it completely makes my day and makes me feel great that someone cares to take the time to write me.
6. Treat yourself to something delicious
I love coffee. I usually drink two cups a day, but sometimes, on a special day, I’ll have three cups. I import my favorite coffee, Blue Bottle, from San Francisco to Pittsburgh. It is a part of my morning ritual and makes me feel really happy. The second cup I buy is always an Americano with a double shot of espresso for a $1.66. It may add up day after day, but it’s a habit that makes the day a little easier to handle, so it’s worth it.
7. Problems? Fix them.
Do you wish that you and your boyfriend spent more quality time together? Make it happen! Since moving to Pittsburgh, I had wanted to visit an art museum calle The Mattress Factory. I could not expect Richard to read my mind that I wanted to go, so one week, I said, “This weekend, let’s spend a day together and visit this place.” He said OK, and we had a great time!
Are things not going well at work? Instead of perpetuating problems with co-workers, just talk to them about it. Today I felt bad because I was not invited to a meeting that my entire team went to. Instead of being upset inside about it, when they got back I said, “Next time, can I be invited to this?” Guess what, I am!
I am finally feeling comfortable with being more direct about my problems. I keep finding that, generally, the person was not even aware that I was upset, or they want to work with me to fix them.
8. Think about what you have
Your mom always said, “Things could be worse,” and she’s right – they can. Think about the things you have and remember that. I personally am thankful to have a really nice digital camera to make my art with, and a computer to edit the photos. I also feel thankful that I have so much love and support from my family and friends. The days I feel especially low about my physical self, I try to remember these things. It helps.
9. Help someone else
I LOVE giving presents. Birthday presents, surprise presents, love letters, and treats. Recently Richard Wayne and I bought our favorite bartender a dress she wanted. She was so surprised when we arrived one night with a box just for her. It makes my day to know that I made someone else’s!
10. Realize that imperfections are beautiful
I grew up hating my European nose. As a child, I wrote diary entries about how when I was 25, I would get a nose job. Well, I’m a few years past that mark, and it’s still here in all its pointy glory. I don’t know what happened, but somehow I stopped obsessing over my nose and realized that it’s a part of my face that makes me look like me.
I think self love is something that has to be a dedicated daily practice, because it’s often easier to feel bad about something than to figure out how to make it better. I read a quote from Yoko Ono recently that said something like, “Try to not talk negative about someone for three hours, then three days, then three months. Can you do it?” All I want in life is to make pretty images and feel fulfilled. I don’t want negativity in my head, or from my environment. Think about it and tell me what you do to practice self-appreciation.
